By Sampson Unamka
Veteran Nollywood actress, Stella Damasus has revealed how she was molested at eight years previous.
In a stay session with Bouqui and monitored by The Nation, The ‘Widow’ star narrated how she was molested by a supposed relative at a young age.
The 43 years previous mom of two shared her story whereas explaining why she had been calm concerning the latest rape problem.
“I hate it when folks come and say this factor occurred to you, why are you simply speaking about it now. Bouqui, it has occurred to me, I don’t say this anyplace, I’ve by no means stated this earlier than, it has occurred to me, it wasn’t rape, it was molestation, by somebody who was speculated to be associated to me.
“I used to be eight years previous, I couldn’t discuss it for years as a result of it traumatised me, no one knew, I used to be coping with it myself, why couldn’t I discuss, I knew what occurred to others who had spoken up about it, they had been disgraced, when you see the disgrace, even at school, as soon as the phrase acquired out, it was about her being a prostitute at the same time as younger as we had been, they might name you names, so man has seen you? Man has touched you? It’s not about what you’re going via, on the finish of the day you spend years coping with your trauma and we aren’t in a society that believes in “oh! go and see a therapist to speak about it for counseling,” stated Damasus.
The award-winning actress continued saying, “You get raped, you get overwhelmed, you get molested, on the finish of the day what did you put on? Why did you go to his home? Why did you entice him? Why had been you flirting with him? It’s by no means guys why would you contact a bit lady, why would you set her in your lap? and begin touching her, even the one which occurred with this Ijesha man, the truth that folks will come up and say ‘allow us to see the video as proof’ Are you mad? That is the rut within the society that I’m speaking about, you wish to unfold the video of a lady being touched, I don’t care if he was touching even solely her cheek I don’t care, he has no proper to violate another person’s youngster, you can’t disgrace somebody who has already gone via a traumatic expertise and was even afraid to speak about that have.”
The actress who can be a singer went on additional to reveal how she was in a position to recover from it with the assistance of a therapist she met in the UK when she attended a convention, she stated: “I needed to begin throughout, begin life once more despite the fact that I used to be a lot older, I needed to settle for the actual me.
Then, I had the chance of going to the UK, we had been at a convention and I used to be talking on the convention, I didn’t realise I stated one thing that made folks so emotional, I used to be simply speaking from my coronary heart and you realize if you end up speaking out of your coronary heart, you’ll simply begin to say stuff and earlier than you realize it you’ll say one thing folks will say ‘oh I didn’t know that and as quickly as we completed the man held my hand, I’ll always remember, he’s Ghanian however lives within the UK, he stated Stella I wish to discuss to you, so I sat with him and he stated that is what I feel you’re dealing with and also you haven’t handled it, you’re affecting and impacting folks however there’s something in you that it’s a must to cope with completely, I stated how do you know, and he stated it’s not so laborious to know. I listened to you and if you pay attention, you perceive you don’t simply hear, that’s what lots of people miss out on, it’s a must to converse to somebody who will pay attention and never simply hear after which he spoke to me and I responded to his questions and he stated to me that is what you’ll want to do.
And I began taking steps, that was once I discovered about phrases of affirmation, that was once I discovered to like myself unconditionally, I began loving folks, I forgave the man. I needed to forgive him as a result of I held on to that factor for thus lengthy it was killing me, however I needed to forgive him and say God when you can take this away from me and make me complete once more I’ll let him go and forgive him however you deal with him. He isn’t doing very nicely by the best way, however anyway, that’s by the best way”, she stated.